Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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