it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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