every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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