oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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