I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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