I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
