He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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