Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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