Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The adults are the big ones right?
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