He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
did i just pee glitter
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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