Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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