What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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