Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
