Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
