I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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