fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
