just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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