Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
