he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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