I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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