My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
