She is in my trunk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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