He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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