i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
