I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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