Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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