hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
