did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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