sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
