I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
