She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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