hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
