her vagine was all disorganized.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
