am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
