im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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