I'm going to jail i love you
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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