The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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