I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
