But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you had me at cake vodka
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
