is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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