i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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