How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
