its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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