I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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