Moan for me like Helen Keller
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
