Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How does one acquire holy water?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
