She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
