I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
