Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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