i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
