new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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