She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
