Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
