she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
